I was a teacher and college professor for years. Somewhere along the way, I got this little hand-painted sign with block letters and curli-cues around the edges. A satin ribbon hung from the back so I could hang it from a nail or pushpin on my cork bulletin board. It said, “Be Nice, Or Leave.”  

At the time, I thought it was kind of funny, and it felt true to me: if you can’t come in to have a civil, respectful conversation, then it’s probably not going to happen in my office. In truth, I don’t think I was talking to the students who’d come for office hours; I think I was talking to my colleagues.  

I’ve shared before here about a group process that I lead that results in creating a Team Agreement. The Team Agreement is deceptively simple: it’s a co-created commitment to specific behaviors on our team. How will we share information? Resolve conflict? Be innovative and creative? Create great working relationships? A team generates what they need and can envision, and over time, this becomes an organic document of guiding principles. It’s incredibly powerful.

My work is called “Influencing Options” for a reason: I think leaders should have choices to make the best decisions for their people, companies, and teams. But there’s one thing that I believe every leader, manager, and supervisor should have as a non-negotiable: we will have positive, productive working relationships. Period. End of Story. All the things.

It's estimated that managers spend more than 25% of their time dealing with interpersonal issues and resolving conflict. Twenty-five percent! If you’re working an ordinary 40-ish-hour week, that’s more than ten hours! Ten hours! Imagine if, in a job interview, your potential new company said, “By the way, here’s where your work will focus, but you’re only going to get to spend about ¾ of your time on that (even though we will still want the same results). The other part of your job will be dealing with people’s personal issues with each other, style conflicts, miscommunication, and workplace drama. You’re up for that, right?”

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just say, “Be Nice, Or Leave?”

A Team Agreement, co-created by everyone on the team, is the road map to the sweet spot for positive, productive relationships. It’s the specifics of “be nice,” but equally important, it’s the specifics to which everyone says they will commit to doing their best about how they will work together to meet their goals and results.

If your team comes up with “Communicate openly and honestly” as one of their aspirational agreements, we push for specificity by asking, “And what would that look like for us?” Maybe your team says they will commit to the following:

• Be specific about what we need and what’s working and not working

• Share information that impacts another person’s success

• Resolve issues with each other directly and refrain from gossip

Let’s be honest. If every business team or group committed to just those three behaviors, how could we impact the following business issues: turnover, missed deadlines, miscommunication, and more? How many hours could we shave off that 25% of our time if we weren’t mediating or navigating interpersonal strife and instead could devote that time to strategic, innovative thinking?

Here's the other thing: the Team Agreement cannot come from you; it has to be co-created. This completely differs from an organization's code of conduct or even your supervisory guidelines. A Team Agreement aligns your organization's values and the team's goals and specifically creates a path they choose to follow.

Don’t be surprised when it works!

Do you want to build a better team and implement a positive, productive working environment? Reach out for a free coaching session with me! libbywagner@libbywagner.com